Everything:infravermelho

Do you ever feel like no one's truly listening?

All my life I've felt like no one truly cares. No one cares enough to want to listen to what I'm saying. No one cares enough to make sure I'm the one who's okay for once.

Today, this all resurfaced in our class discussion first block.
I'm constantly biting my tongue, and I'm sick of it.

Boy, am I glad that I found out who "you" really were.
Not only did you mess with my head, but you turned around and went after one of my friends?
I am so glad I didn't let my heart win in this case. My best friend deserved better than you, especially after knowing what went on this summer. I'm glad I bit my tongue and didn't go for you. Even if that still means hiding it from her... I still think it would hurt her.

But in the mean time, I'm keeping my eyes peeled for any new possibilities :)

Well, here we go again.
Best friends with one side, falling for the other.
Have you ever felt like you're a pro at complicating your personal life?

The one person whom I really, really need to stay away from currently holds my fixation.
Sure, it may seem minor to some, but it's really giving me quite the complex in my mind.
I know I can't tell her about it.. She won't forgive me. Her first love? This must be some kind of sick joke.

Let's see.. Boy dumps girl. Boy writes song about girl's best friend. Girl's best friend has to keep hiding this whole situation from girl.. Girl's best friend is going to lose it soon?
I think so.

Why do I always find myself a spectator?
I find myself on the sidelines. I'm never the girl out there making the moves. The one who "gets" the guy.

I worry about all my guy friends.. I worry about these girls treating them like shit. Am I one of the only ones who cares anymore? Am I just too overprotective because I care too much or is there something else?

Why is it when I see all of the girls I'm friends with getting hurt by these guys, time after time, I still can't take their side? Why do I feel like I can't turn my back on the guys?

Why must it be so complicated..

I am.
Why can't I just be satisfied with one person? Why can't I just find someone, and roll with it? I just want to be that person that gets to indulge their self in a relationship, and feel content. Sometimes I hate having to look around and see everyone else's seemingly good relationships.. I'm tired of recycling crushes. I need new people. I need a release from this old circle.

I don't want to be bitter. I don't want to sit here and complain. But I'll just deal.. Blah. I'm done venting.

Hello friend :)
Ever miss me?
I think I neglect this blog. I never just spontaneously write a post anymore. I miss it!

Currently listening to Carolina by Matt Wertz. Great artist, great song, great album (Under Summer Sun).

How does one figure out their lives? How do you know if you've made the right steps, in the right direction? I'm not sure whether I'm making headway or digging a hole for myself. Graphic design? Technical theater? Will it be enough?

To top things off, I am officially sick today. Sore throat, swollen glands, runny nose, the works. I wonder where the term "the works" came from. Will have to investigate some time!

I'm tired of rambling. I'm out.

Have you ever felt strangely mellow?
I feel oddly easy-going at the moment.
Weird.